I, on the other hand, collect domains. Here is a tiny look into my trove of URLs.

TROVEOFURLS.COM

BEATUPMYSCRIPT .COM

BIZSIDER.COM

BLACKMYRRH.COM

BLENDEDSEM.COM

BUTZELMANNUSA.COM

CANDIDATEMACHINE.COM

CIRCUSOFLOONIES.COM

COMMERCEBENCH.COM

CORNERCATCH.COM

DEADENERGYDRINK.COM

DEADENERGYDRINKS.COM

DIYCAST.TV

FACEBOOKADSSECRETSAUCE.COM

FACEBOOKSECRETSAUCE.COM

HANDOFTHEEVERYDAYMAN.COM

HOVERMOUSE.COM

JOOMLAPHOENIX.ORG

KIDEXPERTS.TV

MECHKNIFE.COM

MECHTHEKNIFE.COM

NETWORKJITTER.COM

Mäxchen is the art of being deceived and detecting deception with dice. Best to be played with four or more scoundrels.

Items required for play:
1 pair of dice (I found that the dice you buy at the Stratosphere in Vegas are too big. Something a little smaller is better.)
1 cup for rolling the dice (backgammon cups work nicely if they are handy.)
1 cardboard coaster (preferably one stolen from a German Pub.)

You also need something on which to scratch out your scores. Carving on the furniture will earn you a date with the Cat O’Nine.

How to play:
Assuming your party is sitting around a table (or a dead man’s chest), play advances clockwise from the starting scoundrel.

Dice are read together. For instance, rolling a 6 and a 2 equals 62.
Doubles beat singles any time.
Doubles higher beats doubles lower.
Mäxchen (21) beats all.
The number you receive ALWAYS has to be higher than the previous roll.

Scoundrel with most points gets strung up by the yardarm.
(or buys the next round).

How Play Advances:
Start the game by placing both dice in the cup.
Cover cup with coaster.
Shake cup.
Hold cup upside down so that the dice are resting on the coaster.
Lift the cup up slightly so that you (and only you) are able to read both dice underneath. You don’t want your opponent to see your roll.
Read the number on the dice to your opponent, and pass.

The person receiving the cup from you has 2 choices:
(to believe you or not to believe your swine-loving heart)

Don’t Believe Your Opponent?
If you don’t believe the scallywag is telling you the truth about what number they rolled, you can lift the cup and read the dice.
If you’ve caught them in a lie, they get the point. Cup returns to them. They have to roll again.
If the scoundrel spoketh truth, point goes to you. And it’s your roll Long John.

Believe Your Opponent?
Do you believe your opponent is telling you honestly what number is upon their dice? And truthfully there is very little reason for your opponent to lie to you at the opening of the game–unless you’re married to them. However if you DO believe your opponent, you can’t look at the dice.

For example, your opponent rolls and looks. They pass you the cup and say “52″. You agree that’s a number they got, and that it’s possible for you to beat it. But if you agree with their number, you cannot look at the dice. You must roll by shaking the cup. You’ve let your opponent off the hook. Now, this is where your inner scoundrel gets to have a run around the park:

Check the dice…
If your roll is higher than the last roll (say a 63), read the dice number to your opponent and pass.
OR you may lie about the dice number to your opponent and pass.
Either way they will have to determine if you play false with their trust.

Or

Close the cup, shake the cup, and pass to your opponent (without looking at the new dice) and say “higher.”
The chance your opponent must take at this time is to believe if your new roll was higher than the last spoken number. If they lift the cup and the number is indeed higher, then the point goes to them. If the number is NOT higher, then the point goes to you.

Mäxchen (21) beats all
If you roll a 2 and a 1 that’s Mäxchen. This number trumps everything (singles and doubles) and can be your get out of the stockades for free. For instance if your opponent rolled a 4 and a 4, you would either need to roll higher doubles or a 21 in order to get out. If you do roll a 21, you can say Mäxchen. Of course, your opponent to whom you pass this bit of plunder to must either believe you or not. If they don’t believe you and you do indeed have 21, then two points go to them. If they don’t believe you, and you lied, then you’re two points closer to buying the grog.

Dirty Pool & Tips
Scoundrels are allowed to shake the dice and pass without lifting. They pass by saying “higher”. If they do this, their roll has to beat the previous roll or they get the point, and play returns to them. Abuse of this tactic is not recommended for those wishing to avoid a trip to Davy Jones’ Locker.

It is considered cheating to remind the person who is rolling what the last number was.

***
I’d love to list out my friends who helped us learn this game. But they are German, and strangely strange about their privacy online. So a simple Danke! will have to suffice.

How to make a paper boat. (scroll down for step-by-step photos).

What’s so great about making boats out of paper?

No…it’s not that they look cool when you set them on fire –its that they require no cutting, glue, scissors or tearing. And you can build an armada in about 20 minutes.

What you need:
1. beer
2. A regular sheet of printer paper (8.5 x 11).

The example I photographed for this post was just some scrap paper. Looks like that was from the night I was trying to troubleshoot Hewlett Packard’s piece of shit wifi on its piece of shit Photosmart C309 printer that I defy you to get working on a Mac. God, my country for a multi-function printer that doesn’t suck donkey balls.

Speaking of big… boats, you can use any type of paper that’s proportionally the same paper size. And if you want to print out paper with markings on it, that’s cool too. (note: if you want the markings to show up mostly on the outside of the boat, start with them facing down. You can also draw stuff along the sides like portals and anchors.

Here is how you build a paper boat.

1. Use a standard 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper.  You can use any sheet size as long as it’s proportional.
2. Fold the paper in half.
3. Next, with the fold at the top, fold the upper left corner down.
4. Fold the upper right corner down. Try to make them meet as close to the middle of the paper as possible. (this will be the sail of your boat)
5. Fold the open ends, the strips of paper at the bottom, up on both sides.
6. Slide your thumbs inside the open area at the bottom. (incidentally when you do this it will look like a hat. Consider folding a bit of newspaper when you’re ready, then you’ll be admiral of your own fleet.)
7. Now with the hat open notice that the opposite ends come together. Bring them together. You will now have the shape of a diamond.
8. Take the lose flaps from the bottom and fold them up towards the peak. Do this on both sides.
9. Poke your thumbs up through the bottom and pry the piece open. You are doing this on the opposite side of where you just folded the flaps.
10. Pull the sides apart. Float your boat!

Doesn’t it make you just wonder who figured that out? The other thing I have to wonder is how in the HELL I still remember how to do this.

I’m in one of THOSE moods where only the right balance of techno, booze and Red Bull will do. Willie Nelson, Worry B Gone, that’s not techno. Paul Van Dyk, close but… Every bit of music I’m hearing right now has too many goddam memories. I’m being defeated not by the song but by the song’s metadata. And that’s an interesting realization.

Now some of you reading this might actually know who Underworld is. Some might even have suffered blackouts from your Van Dyk-booze/caffeine/E/$100 water-enfused evenings in the basements of Vegas nigh clubs (not that I would know anything about the basements of Vegas night clubs). You’re having a different experience with this article than those who don’t recognize those artists. That’s totally meta.

Typically people talk about metadata in terms of computers. Websites use metadata to help them get found. iTunes uses metadata to catalog your music. However, metadata isn’t just relegated to the digital world. Metadata is everywhere. From a technical standpoint, it can be the keyword and description you add to a file. In the analog world it’s the story within a story. It’s the one thousand unspoken words of a photograph. The more aware of metadata you are, the more interesting and varied things around you can become. And that’s the point.

To take my definition one step further, and at the risk of using a sports reference, metadata is the difference between knowing football and KNOWING football.

When I watch football I see a bunch of guys running around. I know some of the player’s names. I know a few teams. I can drink beer and slap you on the back when your jackwagon of a QB is sacked…But I know people that get a quantum difference out of football by following players, downs, runs, yards, penalties, injuries, sacks and touchdowns. Both of us enjoy the game. However, we enjoy the game to the degree we are tuned into the metadata…the meta experience.

Football is meta. Techno is meta. Willie Nelson is meta. Life is meta.

…just like the photo I chose for this article.

A friend called me today and said that his girlfriend’s Macbook monitor was displaying only in black and white. Honestly, I thought he was just screwing with me. But it turned out to be a real issue.

System Preferences (click to enlarge)

So, if you happen to be on a Mac laptop, and the screen is showing up B&W, it’s possible that you’re either the victim of a joker, or maybe you’ve accidentally turned on the “use grayscale” feature designed for those with disabilities.

Here is the fix:

Open System Preferences —-> Universal Access —->

You’ll see big words for Display:  To the right of that you should see a check box next to “Use grayscale,” uncheck that box.  Voila! You have color.

Universal Access (click to enlarge)

If you don’t have color at this point, then get thee to a Genius. If you feel like this is a good April Fools joke for someone, then you might make sure those running shoes are on your feet.