jokes writing

Dot Com Blues

I wrote this back in 2002 during the first dot com bubble burst.
This is (C) Scott Allen

Hey mom I just got hired by a dot com. We gonna make a million.
Don’t worry that the salary is low, the stock’s going to be worth a trillion.

We’re going on the Internet, we’re gonna be on the web.
Won’t be long till we’re doing interviews just like real celebs.

We’re flying all over the country, we’re hitting all the best scenes.
We’re working all night long, breaking new ground, just like digital marines.

Oh momma these times are tough for techies,
Don’t know what to do.
What happened to my new computer?
What happened to my new shoes?
Oh momma have you heard the news?
Yea, yea baby we’ve got the dot com blues.

The company has been open for 9 months now and hasn’t made a dime.
But that’s okay we’ve got plenty in the bank, and we’ll make it back in good time.

Work has mounted up and we don’t have time to bathe.
I tried to kiss my girlfriend the other day, but she won’t have none of this digital slave.

The last time I went into a meeting I didn’t even have to wear shoes.
But today I’m worried ‘cause something tells me we are going to get some bad news.

Oh momma these times are tough for techies,
Don’t know what to do.
What happened to my new computer?
What happened to my new shoes?
Oh momma have you heard the news?
Yea, yea baby we’ve got the dot com blues.

God this t3 is really expensive stuff its purchase might have been a little rash. We’re not even up so all it’s good for is Napstering and getting porno trash.

Money is flowing out of this place and cashflow is getting a little thin. Someone joked the other day that paychecks might not be comin’ in again.

Oh we’re in trouble ‘cause the sales force has only sold cars, god they need tutors. They don’t even know the product, hell man they can’t even turn on their computers!

Oh momma these times are tough for techies,
Don’t know what to do.
What happened to my new computer?
What happened to my new shoes?
Oh momma have you heard the news?
Yea, yea baby we’ve got the dot com blues.

We were making bank. We were rolling in the dough.
It’s just too bad we spent all that cash ‘cause today we’re lettin more people go.

The beginning was so bright, we were masters of our domain.
Now we are fighting to keep our Registrar from shutting us down, again.

Oh momma these times are tough for techies,
Don’t know what to do.
What happened to my new computer?
What happened to my new shoes?
Oh momma have you heard the news?
Yea, yea baby we’ve got the dot com blues.

So rumor has it that Cisco has a brand new obsession.
That’s right they are roaming the country doing hardware repossession.

Those bastards took our routers today, they killed our entire network.
The CEO slammed his door, the CTO just went berserk.

Oh god what happened to our brave new world? We were so fricken’ cool.
Now it’s the middle of the afternoon, I’m jobless, in the bar, sittin’ on this stool.

What happened to our customers? The chance for that IPO?
We woke up one morning impoverished wondering where did it all go?

Oh momma these times are tough for techies,
Don’t know what to do.
What happened to my new computer?
What happened to my new shoes?
Oh momma have you heard the news?
Yea, yea baby we’ve got the dot com blues.

Ohh it’s all gone, the money, options, girls, and the drugs. We’re really singing the blues. We partied like rock stars and now all we can afford is cheap booze.

But it can’t be this way, I’ve never had to look for something to do.
I don’t even have a resume and what the hell is a job interview?

Don’t worry momma I’m working for another company and it’s the bomb.
They’re burning all their damn money on bar-b-qs, that’s right baby I just got hired by another dot com!

Oh momma these times are tough for techies,
Don’t know what to do.
What happened to my new computer?
What happened to my new shoes?
Oh momma have you heard the news?
Yea, yea baby we’ve got the dot com blues.(repeat till fade.)

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