Advice funny life hack

How To Make A Paper Boat

Here is some good clean fun for your inner Napoleon.

How to make a paper boat. (scroll down for step-by-step photos).

What’s so great about making boats out of paper?

No…it’s not that they look cool when you set them on fire –its that they require no cutting, glue, scissors or tearing. And you can build an armada in about 20 minutes.

What you need:
1. beer
2. A regular sheet of printer paper (8.5 x 11).

The example I photographed for this post was just some scrap paper. Looks like that was from the night I was trying to troubleshoot Hewlett Packard’s piece of shit wifi on its piece of shit Photosmart C309 printer that I defy you to get working on a Mac. God, my country for a multi-function printer that doesn’t suck donkey balls.

Speaking of big… boats, you can use any type of paper that’s proportionally the same paper size. And if you want to print out paper with markings on it, that’s cool too. (note: if you want the markings to show up mostly on the outside of the boat, start with them facing down. You can also draw stuff along the sides like portals and anchors.

Here is how you build a paper boat.

  1. Use a standard 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper.  You can use any sheet size as long as it’s proportional.
  2. Fold the paper in half.
  3. Next, with the fold at the top, fold the upper left corner down.
  4. Fold the upper right corner down. Try to make them meet as close to the middle of the paper as possible. (this will be the sail of your boat)
  5. Fold the open ends, the strips of paper at the bottom, up on both sides.
  6. Slide your thumbs inside the open area at the bottom. (incidentally when you do this it will look like a hat. Consider folding a bit of newspaper when you’re ready, then you’ll be admiral of your own fleet.)
  7. Now with the hat open notice that the opposite ends come together. Bring them together. You will now have the shape of a diamond.
  8. Take the lose flaps from the bottom and fold them up towards the peak. Do this on both sides.
  9. Poke your thumbs up through the bottom and pry the piece open. You are doing this on the opposite side of where you just folded the flaps.
  10. Pull the sides apart. Float your boat!

Doesn’t it make you just wonder who figured that out? The other thing I have to wonder is how in the HELL I still remember how to do this.

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